Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital: Matt 12x16 Oil on panel It’s not a good idea to tempt fate. Later on, some of the rehab patients learned about a new patient from the conversations of the nursing staff. In a real sense we became invisible to the nursing staff, so as they went about their responsibilities, we overheard their conversations about everything from staffing issues and who was romantically interested in whom. Also of interest was the subject of what patient had recently been admitted, the new patient’s accompanying story and the kind of cards that fate had dealt him. The latest buzz amongst nurses and assistants was a young man named Matt. He was a triple amputee who had been in an accident and lost his right leg and both of his arms. I paid attention and learned as much as I could about him as I was anticipating meeting him. I had already visited patients in the cancer ward… (Continued in book)

Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital: Jaw 12x16 Oil on panel It’s a mind-set. Feeling sorry for one’s self is to be expected up to a point, but when there is no more new information and you are not using time for self discovery and healing, then it is no longer productive. It is then we can develop a mantra of “poor me” and get stuck. Being needless and “want- less” is a paralyzing state of mind. There is nothing that can really open up the possibility of progress like setting a goal, even a small one. It is what moves us, energizes us and pulls us forward. I believe the degree of happiness we experience is directly related to the quality of our goals. Usually the goals that we choose and which define our energetic motivation are ones that are not self-serving. However, my goal of healing was self-serving.

Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital Rudy 12x16 Oil on panel Prejudging individuals. It’s hard to get to a point of personal growth where we can get past our personal protection. The tendency to prejudge people is probably innate. We all do it out of fear and to protect ourselves from the unknown. In my case, Rudy was not a person whom I chose to befriend. He didn’t have the mental capacity to relate to others. I share his story now because he symbolized what we experience in our day-to-day lives. When we see or meet new people, we should hold our judgments, while at the same time protecting ourselves from those who may endanger us. Rudy’s brain was scrambled like a two-dollar egg breakfast. It wasn’t until I got close to him that I realized he was harmless and deserved understanding rather than fear and scorn. I first saw Rudy in the rehab hospital’s cafeteria. He usually had his shirt off for reasons that were unclear to me. It just seemed odd. I saw him about four or five times before I actually allowed myself to get close enough to meet him. As he sat across from me at the dining room table… (Continued in book)

Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital Huck 12x16 Oil on panel The importance of connection, love and support. Huck lost both his parents and a brother in an automobile accident when he was 9. At that time his life was already rough enough. He had been diagnosed with infantile paralysis that affected one arm and a leg. As a polio victim he had been hospitalized numerous times and the medical community did all they could to correct the polio and help him become pain free. Because of his short leg, his back was off center and he suffered from chronic sciatica and lower back pain. When Huck was 12 he had his first back surgery. This was the beginning of so many operations that he told me he had lost count of them. He had also lost three inches in height over the years. Huck’s destiny was to become a human guinea pig. Since he had no parents, those who were indifferent to his emotional welfare made the decisions for his medical care… (Continued in book)

Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital: Mike 12x16 Oil on panel Getting into dangerous situations and not knowing it. Mike was 14, short for his age with the perfect body of a gymnast or ballet dancer. He had seen wrestlers at his school, practicing after his baseball practice. He was curious about the sport of wrestling. His practice ended early and upon leaving the gym he passed through the area where the wrestlers were gathered. Mike, being a good sport and competitive, paused to watch and was challenged to wrestle by a kid who was bigger than him. Mike put his gym bag down and was led to a mat, which was quickly surrounded by other wrestlers. The other student named Roland was a year older and one of the best wrestlers in the school. Mike knew nothing about the sport, not even the object of pinning one’s opponent on his back for a count of three seconds. It all happened so fast that Mike was taken by surprise. The more experienced schoolmate pinned him down within seconds of starting the match. For Roland this little match was an easy ego boost and a way to show off his skills. Embarrassed, Mike now clearly knew what the point of the match was… (Continued in book)

Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital: Veronica 12x16 Oil on panel Follow your instincts for survival. Veronica and Raymond were looking forward to taking her brother Gregorio to dinner for his 30th birthday. Gregorio wanted to go to San Jose to the De Anza Hotel where there was a fine Italian restaurant. Veronica didn’t like the idea of driving from Salinas because it would mean driving back late at night. But when she mentioned it to Raymond, he said not to worry, he would be the designated driver which was the only way to go because Gregorio would be celebrating and drinking. Veronica reluctantly agreed and plans were made to pick her brother up and head to San Jose around 5:30 for a 6:45 reservation. Veronica was in her sixth month of pregnancy and, as a result, she was uncomfortable sitting for long periods of time. She had already had two children: Raymond Jr. who was 10 and Angela who was eight. They had a happy life together, and all looked good for having a third child. Raymond had a job as a janitor at the local high school and was able to provide health… (Continued in book)

Ralph K. Davies Rehab Hospital: Gay Doc 12x16 Oil on panel Coming to grips with total vulnerability. During this early, critical phase of my disease, right after I had been transferred to the Ralph K. Davies rehab facility at Franklin Hospital, I had an eye-opening encounter with another patient. I don’t remember the patient’s name but I learned that he was a dentist; he was gay and had a gay clientele. The AIDS epidemic was running rampant in the gay community in the early 80’s in San Francisco. Fear of AIDS was at its height as there were still so many unanswered questions about how the disease was contracted. At the time, it was called the “gay disease.” There was a growing resentment of gays that led to isolation and consolidation of the gay community in one area of San Francisco. As part of the AIDS scare, it became hard for gay men to get medical attention including medical services like dentistry. The gay community stuck together and helped one another. It was a time when communal compassion outpaced fear of AIDS. At some point this dentist had contracted herpes, which had infected his brain. He was in rehab, recovering from a brain surgery that resulted in the removal of a large part of his brain. His head was terribly caved in… (Continued in book)